How I treat myself: Yes, we all come form different backgrounds and a lot of us have things we need to unlearn in our lives. I had a mom who didn’t speak to me nicely, nor did she speak to herself nicely. Her voice became my inner instinctual thoughts.
Then, I have my dad. He is always encouraging, everyday he tells me, “be strong, be creative, do your best, and God loves you”. Everyday he would encourage me to be creative when I have a problem. He always believed in me and even when I ditched my bachelors degree and had no solid job, he always knew and trusted that I was a fighter and that I was going to be okay.
I hope you can see how conflicted of a person I was when I was a kid. My mom’s voice guilted me and my dad’s voice gave me strength. Disclaimer: from my mom’s background, she actually changed so many generational curses and she is a much better person than her mom. But it just wasn’t nearly like my dad.
As I got older, I started to be kinder to myself after I ran myself into the ground first. And I realized, the kinder I am to myself, the kinder I am to other people. And kindness to other people truly mainly gives me sanity. Kindness to others may help others as well and inspire them to be kind to themselves and others, but when you are kind to others, you truly mainly help your own sanity of living in this world. Life is softer, and you let go. And I love this about myself. Being kind to those who don’t care about me, or hate me, or abused their power towards me, or manipulated me. Because it builds my character and makes me strong in who I am.
Is it worth it? Being kind in a world that is not kind to you?
If you are kind soley for how you get treated, then no. I am not focused on how other people treat me. They have their own journey and their own trauma. And that isn’t for me to dissect. I am meerely an NPC in the whole realm of their world. A projection and a reflection. It is also not my business how people intake things, but I do want to be the person who tries their best to do their best in their knowledge. And because it is such a difficult thing to remain kind hearted, it is one of the things I am most proud of, and it comes from the grace I give myself.
And the kindness and grace I give myself actually stops me from making bigger mistakes because Im not acting out of fear or frustration, and I actually learn quicker and better, therefore making it better to live.
How I view problems: This world is so broken. The system is broken, the people are broken. And that is the fact of the matter. So many people in this world live as though there is a standard of perfection that most people are living in, but they aren’t. They are pretty good at hiding it and acting like they are that standard, but 99% of the world is not.
When issues arise, I used to have fear and anxiety. Frustration and sadness and it always drained me. Why can’t my life be normal, why cant everything just be okay, why does this have to happen. But when I started to acknowledge that life is broken and we are all just dealt different cards, and all these broken pieces are meant to build our character, I viewed life differently.
What can I control, what is just an unfortunate situation that I cannot control, how can I get better. What can I learn from this, and how can I build myself to get through this and challenge my character in who I am. How can I be creative?
And this only helps you. It is unfortunate. This world, but the way you choose to think and live, it really only helps you.
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